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You Don't Attract What You Want...You Attract Who You Are

Updated: Mar 5


Dear radiant souls,


Today, we embark on a journey inward, exploring the profound truth that we attract who we are internally. This reflection is not just about the surface level of our beings but the deep, vibrant essence of our Divine Feminine Essence. It's about understanding the pivotal role of self-esteem in shaping the relationships we draw into our lives and recognizing the patterns that often lead us to redate the same person, merely with a different face.




Our relationships are mirrors, reflecting our deepest beliefs about ourselves. When our self-esteem is flourishing, we attract partners who respect and cherish us, mirroring the love we hold for ourselves. However, when our self-love wavers, we might find ourselves in relationships that echo this uncertainty, attracting individuals who may not fully recognize our worth.


It's a pattern many of us have witnessed—ending one relationship only to find ourselves in a remarkably similar situation with a new partner. This cycle isn't a coincidence; it's a reflection of what lies within us. If we don't heal and grow from past relationships, we're likely to attract similar partners, as they resonate with the unresolved aspects of our internal world.


Consequences of a Diminished Self-Esteem


  1. Repetitive Relationship Patterns: Without a healthy sense of self, we may repeatedly enter relationships that are eerily similar, each echoing the lessons we've yet to learn about our worth.

  2. Compromised Boundaries: Low self-esteem often leads to weakened boundaries, making it difficult to advocate for our needs and desires within relationships.

  3. Emotional Dependency: Seeking validation from partners instead of finding it within can lead to dependency, placing undue pressure on the relationship.

  4. Fear of Authenticity: When we're not grounded in our self-love, there's a fear of showing our true selves, stifling the growth and depth of connections.

  5. Attraction to Unhealthy Dynamics: A lack of self-love might draw us towards partners who reflect our inner turmoil rather than our inner strength.

Cultivating Self-Love: Five Transformative Tips

  1. Affirmations of Worth: Begin each day with affirmations that celebrate your worth and divine essence. This practice seeds your subconscious with positive beliefs about yourself.

  2. Self-Care Rituals: Engage in daily self-care rituals that honor your body, mind, and spirit. Whether it's a warm bath, a nourishing meal, or a quiet moment of meditation, these acts of love reinforce your worth.

  3. Boundaries as Acts of Love: Set and respect your boundaries. Recognize that saying no to what doesn't serve you is a profound act of self-love.

  4. Embrace Your Authenticity: Commit to being authentically you. Embracing your true self, with all its unique quirks and colors, is a powerful statement of self-love.

  5. Surround Yourself with Support: Cultivate a community of empowered women who uplift each other. Surrounding yourself with positive affirmations and energies reinforces your journey towards self-love.

In Closing


Remember, Sis, the journey to attracting the love you deserve starts within. By nurturing your self-esteem and embracing your Divine Feminine Essence, you open the door to relationships that reflect your true worth. Let's commit to being whole, healed, healthy, and happy, not just for ourselves but for the love we wish to attract and cultivate.


Let this be your call to action: Step into your power, embrace your divine essence, and watch as the world around you transforms.


With love and light,

Vanetta Rather


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I love this sight! It is so encouraging, uplifting and empowering. We hear a lot about self love and many just don’t know what steps to take in getting there. I’m at a place in my life where it is imperative that I embrace self care in totality because my saying (because I embraced it) and doing were not connecting consistently. Now that my youngest of four children (which I single parented over a course of 38 years) is graduating from high school this year. This upcoming event (the graduation) has really put me in the mode to seek direction and guidance. It’s almost like finding my identity outside of being just a Mom. I look forward to embrac…


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